Dearest grandchildren,
As I write this I am doing so with the hope or assumption that there will still be some type of an internet for you to use in your future. I dream that you will be able to read some of these posts and gain some insight into your grandma Patty, perhaps a side of me that I was not able to share with you in our time together. I would love to have known more about my grandmothers' early years but the closest I came was to be pen pals with my grandma Flood in her last years of her life. I have a scrapbook full of letters and postcards from her that she wrote to me and I hope you stumble across them someday and enjoy them as I did.
This posting, however, is about friends. In particular, best friends; the rarest of rare kind of friend that not everyone is lucky to secure in life. All of us are exposed to groups of girls and boys throughout our lives in school and at work and most of us have had our feelings hurt at one time or another by someone who only pretended to be a "friend" and were not even close to the true definition of the word.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary has several definitions for the word "friend". A few of my favorites are:
- one attached to another by affection or esteem
- one that is not hostile
- a favored companion
I met Kim in high school during our 10th grade year, aren't we cute in the picture above? We attended Newbury Park High School in California. We were both in the marching band. Kim was a baton twirler and I was a banner carrier. I also played the percussion instruments (tympany drums, bass drum, cymbals, etc.) in a lot of the band concerts. I cannot recall how we first met but once we did it seemed like we were instantly destined to be friends. Little did we know that we had similar lives outside of school and the more time we spent together the more special our relationship became. We both had other friends, school, after-school chores and jobs, but we spent as much time together as possible. Graduation was Friday the 13th of June, 1975 and we thought we were ready for the world.
After graduation from high school we had a brief respite of time apart spent evolving our individual lives with marriage and children. Ironically, we both had the pleasure of child birth in 1980 just a few months apart; Kim had a daughter and I had a son. We matured and realized how young we were when we committed to our first marriages. Life is not perfect, it is not the fairy-tale we are read as little girls and boys, and if you are not adequately prepared for the world it takes you by surprise sometimes.
We found each other again in the mid-80's and it felt like we had just seen or spoke to each other the previous day. By that time I had given birth to my second son and neither of us was with our first husband. Although we had a lot to catch up on it was very natural and comfortable for me to share all of my woes and joys with Kim. We were truly attached to each other "by affection" and realized that we did hold each other in the highest of esteem.
As our years progressed we kept in touch and I was eventually relocated to Colorado with my job. The distance cannot or will not change our affection for one another. I can pick up the phone and tell her the deepest secret or I can tell her a joke and make her laugh that wonderful laugh of hers. I will never, ever, forget the day that she called me early in the morning to tell me that her daughter had been killed in a tragic car accident. I grieved for her, I wanted to hold her and cry with her but we were miles and miles apart. This is the only time in our relationship that I regret that I was not able to be there for her but I know she does not hold that against me. Years earlier Kim had found the love of her life and he was by her side every step of the way during this tragedy. I love and respect him for that.
We both forged ahead through the next decade and are still able to pick up the phone at any time of day or night just to hear each other's voice or to find comfort with the things we ponder in life. We share similar health issues, can glean ideas from one another, or regale each other with funny stories. We speak of our parents, my children and grandchildren, and we speak of her daughter. It has been tough for her with other friends because they are afraid to mention her daughter, but not me. She still has a daughter and always will, even in the afterlife.
This year we are sharing the dreaded event of the over-50 colonoscopy! It is just by chance that we scheduled them a week apart and we have had many giggles over this. Hers is already over and mine is still 4 days away. The comfort of her voice this afternoon helped to calm me once again as I anticipate my Friday task. That is a true best friend, a "favored companion".
In conclusion, I would like to wish for you, my grandchildren, to find a true best friend some day. A friend that you will hold in your heart for years and a friend that will share your laughter and tears. Hey, that rhymes! (Heehee)
Lots of love,
Grandma P
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