On February 9th, 2011 I was in line at See's Candy in Denver to pick up a surprise box of valentine candy for my mom as it is her favorite. I received a call from dad asking where I was and when I told him I was in a large line waiting to check out he asked that I call him when I got out to my car. Little did I know what that call would mean to me and how I will never forget where I was when I received it. Dad delivered the tragic news to me that my Uncle Bill had passed away in his sleep in the early morning hours, 02/10/11. I was stunned by the news as I was not at all prepared for it, who ever is? My favorite uncle had been fighting a rare form of leukemia, Myelofibrosis, for a little over a year and he was fighting it with the stubbornness we all knew and loved about him. Doctors had no cure or options for him and he was just tired all of the time. He had a rough 2010 with the loss of his beloved wife of 55 years in June as she herself fought a battle with cancer so we could all understand how exhausted he was and how tough was his battle. Still, I was naive' with the hope of more years with my dad's only brother and younger sibling.
Some of you have previously read, or heard, this but here is an excerpt from the eulogy that I wrote and read at his service:
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February 9th, 2011 was a typical work Wednesday for me. I did a LOT of math as usual, finished up one of the two proposals I had in process and then the work day had a positive end as I received my annual pay raise from my boss. On my drive home from work that day I was compelled to pick up the phone and hear the voice of my Uncle Bill. When he answered he was very short-breathed from bringing in some groceries he had just obtained…..milk, bread, a lemon cake and a few other items. We chatted about his new house and the weather that had delayed his move for a few days. I told him I received a raise at work and he gave me the “Uncle advice” that I should hang on to my job and I assured him that I would. After about 20 minutes of chatting his breathing was calmer, I told him that I missed him and loved him so much and that I was anxious to see his new house. He told me he loved me too. He always told me he loved me.
I have heard my uncle Bill described as “ornery”, “stubborn”, and a “sore loser”. I imagine that he was quite a tough person to work with at Boeing as his diligent nature most likely drove him to be a hard worker who expected the same out of those around him. Being a second child is tough and I am speaking from experience. Admittedly, I am a “daddy’s girl” but I am reasonably sure that my daddy was responsible for creating some of the attributes we have all grown to know, and actually love, about my uncle. Competitive brother’s vying for their half of the bed, food, their mother’s affection, and later in life many games of dominoes that ended with the affectionately snide name calling of “Cottonpicker!” and someone pouting for a few minutes. They shared the love of golf and they both made a career out of working in the aerospace industry. Devoted son, husband, father, and uncle are how I would describe the pair of them.
Billy Jerald Rainer is a deep-rooted limb of our family tree and all of us here today have such varied memories of him and that is how it should be. None of us was ready for him to go even though we all knew it was imminent. I can no longer pick up the phone and tell him about my day, I will miss that. He did, however, leave us with lasting memories to cherish and remind us of his role in our lives. My son Jason has the same dimpled chin as Uncle Bill and I was blessed to have a new granddaughter born on his birthday last year. We should all do our best to pass on his “stubborn”, “ornery”, and “competitive” ways to future Rainer little ones.
Tears have been shed by many of us and will continue to be shed for however long we deem necessary as we come to terms with our loss.
In my search for some pithy quotation or verse that would be appropriate for this gathering I found a poem by an unknown author:
Not, How Did He Die, But How Did He Live?
Not how did he die, but how did he live?
Not what did he gain, but what did he give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not, what was his church, nor what was his creed?
But had he befriended those really in need?
Was he ever ready, with word of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when he passed away.
Not what did he gain, but what did he give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not, what was his church, nor what was his creed?
But had he befriended those really in need?
Was he ever ready, with word of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when he passed away.
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| Taken last time he visited my house, Fall of 2010 |
-Unknown author
And, as Randy Travis says “I’m gonna love you forever and ever, forever and ever amen”.
Patrisa Rainer McHone – 02/12/10
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So, needless to say, our 2011 started out with some obvious emotional challenges that had the "Rainer" clan rallying around each other to take stock of our lives and those of the remaining relatives. The realization that my dad is the remaining member of our original lineage hit me hard and I think it hit him pretty hard, too. I spent many days thinking of my cousins with the loss of both of their parents in less than a year and how quickly life changes for us.
I am thankful to have 12 1/2 years of service at my present company, Ball Aerospace, and that my husband has 10+ years with his current employer. We are both posturing for long-term goals as we work to remove beetle-infested pine trees on our land up on the mountains. We are still torn between cabin or RV for the land but we have time enough to make that decision.
Our 3 grandchildren (Chris and Ana's kids) are lots of fun and they continue to amaze me whenever I see them or speak to them. Chris and Ana have their hands full with work, kids, house, cars, vacations, etc., and I am always impressed by their success in coordinating all of these items. Theirs is a model relationship and example of a functional family. I am very proud of them.
My son Jason proposed to his girlfriend of 7 years, Mary, and they have set a date for August of 2012. They will become our 3rd of 6 combined children to wed and we are blessed to add Mary to our family. Looking forward to the celebration! Our grandpuppy Dolce visited us many times this year and had several sleep-over nights and weekends. She is delightful and entertaining as we watch her interact with our dog Hunny.
Lainie had back surgery this year and she is still on the mend from that but is slowly getting better. She enjoys her time with husband Brian, their cats, and a continual house project. I will not say that she enjoys her job but we are thankful that they both have one.
Cody is doing very well with his job and has advanced in his position at work this year. He and Kayla are still together, happy, and having fun like they are supposed to at their age. He has a very aggressive workout routine to stay in shape for his job and we are proud of his accomplishments all around.
We found out that there will be a new grandson to join the family in February 2012 (Wade and his girlfriend Alex) and we are looking forward to meeting the little guy soon. Wade has a good job and is working hard toward some new life goals. He is going to be a busy lad soon but it will be rewarding if he lets it be.
Alex is a junior in high school and had quite an accomplished football season. He received his 2nd year letter, a captain bar, and many awards of accomplishment. There is presently a recruiter working toward possible college opportunities so we shall see how his senior year pans out for him.
2011 progressed with the arrival of a great-grandson for my late Uncle Bill and Aunt Wanda, a new grandson for my cousin Cindy and her husband Mike, the first son for their son Jacob. His arrival was estimated for early September and I for one was hoping for him to come on my dad's birthday, September 11th, as I thought it would be ironically wonderful. Nevertheless, little Jackson Matthew Duckett made his appearance on the 13th of September and restored much needed joy and life into a leg of the family. We have enjoyed many fabulous pictures of Jacob and his wife Lisa with their daughter Mia and new little Jackson (or "mini-Jacob" as people call him). I envision that Uncle Bill and Aunt Wanda are smiling and happy for the family.
Mom continues her stay at The Life Care Center of Longmont where her days are long and she is often confused by why she is there. The saving grace is that her short-term memory does not allow for her to retain some of the things that make me sad as I have to leave her there. She is sated by the promise to return at a certain time and does not recall if you met that promise. She is merely delighted by any visit from any person and always makes you feel special for taking the time to come see her. She tires easily, remains a fussy eater, and still loves to watch old movies and sing if music is presented to her. I am plotting to find a way to have her attend Jason and Mary's wedding in August as that would be a great way for some of you to see her again.
Dad celebrated his 80th birthday on 9/11 this year and in keeping with my promise to him, it was a very low-key celebration. I am thankful for every day that I have with him and for the joy and companionship he brings to my life.
As you can imagine, we are busy but I would not trade any of it in for anything different. I like being busy but do enjoy the occasional down-time to write as it is one of my hobbies. I have started writing some children's books just for fun and may see where that leads me during 2012.
I hope that 2011 was good to you and that the new year brings events that are rewarding, challenging at times, and may present you with an opportunity to sit back and reflect on your lives. Kiss your loved ones, call your friends and loved ones, and pay it forward when you have a chance.
Love, Grandma P
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| mom and dad, Christmas 2011 |
